Gone Batty? Get the Shaver.

I have never been a fan of short hair on a girl.  The one exception to this is Natalie Portman.  Of course I was not a fan, but there would be damned near nothing in this world that would stop me from plundering her innards, short hair cut included.  I guess Winona in Beetlejuice would fit in that circle too.  Plus she shoplifts, so you know she gives up the butt pussy.  Recently, there was an article at RoK about short haired chicks being damaged goods and I would like to riff on some examples I can pull from my knowledge.

The first thing that popped into my head when thinking about this subject was Brittany Spears.  She had some sort of break down and shaved off all her locks.  I can relate to the feeling of a new beginning by shaving ones head, but it seems in the case of girls, it’s a sure sign of impaired mental health.  The salon owner actually tried to talk her out of it, and her little testimony is quite telling emphasis mine:

“She sat in my chair and said, ‘I want my hair shaved off.’ I said well I’m not doing it,” Tognozzi told the syndicated entertainment news show “Extra.”

“Of course I tried to talk her out of it,” Tognozzi continued. “I said, ‘You know maybe you’re having a hormonal moment or something, and maybe tomorrow you’ll feel differently about it. Let’s talk about this.”

Yes, I’d say going batty and shaving your head is a sure sign of some compromised thought processes.  I’m not trying to take a jab at the young pop star, or chicks who cut their hair short, I’m merely trying to highlight some examples.  If a man shaving his head was an indicator of mental stability, I should have had my head shaved for most of my life.  At any rate, I can pull two examples from high school that also add to the insurmountable pile of evidence.

My first oneitis was a girl named Heidi.  I say this, because this is the first chick that friend zoned me hard and I went along with it hoping one day she’d change her mind.  She didn’t.  But she did hook me up with a place to stay when I was kicked out of my house, drove me all over the place, and knew the dark place I was living in.  I’m attracted to crazy and crazy is attracted to me, birds of a feather.  Eventually, I realized what torture I was placing on myself and stopped tooling around with her, but this didn’t occur until she moved up to where I was going to college.  I saw her maybe 2-3 times up there over a year long period.  She had many issues, including being a slut, however, like I said, “friendzoned hard.”   She went crazy one day, from who knows what, and shaved her head all the way.  She looked terrible.  However, this was one crazy girl.  She’s doing better now and has been married to the same guy for a few years.   I saw her at my buddies wedding, we talked like old friends, but I don’t keep in touch.

My second example from my past is a chick who was dubbed as “Rape Dog” by the cats in our circle.  She was a very cute girl and I remember seeing her walking around school and thinking damn she’s cute, but I’m too white and she’s too much a vata so it won’t happen.  I don’t know the ins and outs of her situation because I never really talked to her, but she cut her hair short.  I don’t know if it was to try to be punk, but I do know this chick was off her rocker.

The origin of the nickname “Rape Dog” began after a night of partying at my friends house.  Even back then I was a cocky motherfucker so after getting a heat on, I saw her making out with this kid in the living room.  I went up to her and said you should be getting with me, or some shit like that.  She came with me.  I didn’t kiss her but she blew me 5 minutes after that interaction.  Then I couldn’t keep her off.  She’d try pulling my cock out when I was playing dominos in the kitchen.  She tried it again when I was rolling a doob at another party a few weeks later.  She blew me before I passed out and again in the morning.  There wasn’t really conversation, she was just a cock thirsty chick who had short hair.  Rape Dog.  Due to the small size of the town I grew up in, later when laughing about it about a year later, I remember at least 8 dudes raising their hands when asked if Rape Dog had got them.

Actually I have at least two more stories like that but I’m going to hold onto those.  I do think it is an indicator of some level of crazy.  Any readers with similar experiences?

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