Work Related: HR Edition

Really Rojo?  Another rant about HR?  Don’t worry your pretty little heads, I’m not going to go full standard rage here, because what recently happened was a victory in my eyes.  Though I have to admit, it’s really hard not be filled with rage each and every day at my work place.  I watch the inanity of these decision making dunces attempt to make this place more efficient, but it’s the equivalent of a meth’d out tweeker trying to recite prose to a thorn bush.  Actually, it is an ex-tweeker and a workaholic trying to bang out process and work flows.  It gets real ugly real fast.  You can see the eyes of the people who are supposed to be learning from these two glaze over as Corky and Quarto pummel them with every possible tedious detail.  Then the two shittiest teachers on this planet get pissed when people don’t understand.

I’m the opposite of those two. I’ve spent years doing that same fucking work, even though I have no part in it now, and I know that when people need learning in order to do their job, they need to know how, in the most bare bones manner possible.  The folks that have to regurgitate these lessons in the form of a work day, do not get paid nearly enough to give a flying fuck about what these two have to say.  Whenever I trained folks, I gave them the one road to victory in simple terms. I didn’t veer off into unjustified tangents, nor did I scour all possible outcomes that may arise.  Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of the human race, but I believe people will attempt to get their shit done, or ask how to do it if they are unsure, or at least fuck it up trying. They don’t want to lose their job and they surely don’t want to hear some tweek minded asshole walk chaotic patterns during a supposed learning conversation.  I digress…

The saga of our trollic HR manager began about a year ago.  I was the first victim in her reign.  She was fresh out of some school with a degree in Human Resources and looking to exert her authority.  I think she had a masters in HR.   What a useless fucking degree.  At any rate, she arrived, and in no short order, established a cold, condescending aura to all those she supposedly served.  Her efforts in securing an affordable health plan for the workers was an immediate failure.  It didn’t effect me because I have no bastard spawn, or baby momma to take care, and my dog doesn’t need health benefits. However, as a guy who has to deal with everyone at my workplace in some manner, at some point, I heard the numerous complaints rising.  Most stemmed from the ratio of their pay to what they were paying.

Her scorn of the male species was obvious to me.  As I outlined at the end of this post, she could not handle even common interpersonal niceties, even when they were not directed at her.  The essence she tried to instill in the place of my work was a robot like, eyes forward, non questioning automaton driven ethic.That’s where the Californian work place has been going.  She was fresh out of school, having drilled laws into her blubbery jowls, and ready to enforce what she had been taught.  That road is a dark and empty trail that leads to a total lack of humanity.

Her contemptuous behavior not only effected those who were directly addressed in the form of disciplinary action, but also those outside of it’s direct repercussions.  Idiot males I work with started saying shit like, “that’s inappropriate,” “I’m going to go to HR about that,” or “That makes me uncomfortable,” while expounding on other things that would rightly fall into their new moral high ground as not appropriate for work.  If something could be construed as innuendo in any way, one colleague of mine would immediately jump onto that horse, even when it was fully a matter a stating the job.  The same guy in turn came to me whining one day about having to leave early because his eye felt weird underneath his eyelid.  I said to him, “dude, you have pink eye.” To which he squawked, “It’s not pink eye you faggot.”  All this while I am in my office.  How about that for “inappropriate” behavior.  Luckily for him, I am not a vindictive or sensitive manboob, nor do I give a fuck what that guy thinks.  To me he’s a walking goddamn vagina, and should not be working here.

At any rate, a few weeks ago a link went out to all of our staff asking them to fill out a survey on HR’s performance.  I know I am not the only one who filled out the questionnaire honestly, as at minimum the few I trust around here did the same.  A final notice went out to fill out the survey, and that following Friday, HR was no longer part of the company.  That’s right, that troglocunt got the fucking boot.  Though I am not one to typically wish ill will on someone, the amount of elation I felt at the moment was quite intense.  I couldn’t help myself in thinking “what goes around comes around, BITCH,” even though I believe that kharma is established at birth, and that we are just living out of fuckeries of the previous incarnation of our oxygen.  You know, since we’re all oxygen factories and eventually end up in the dirt.

Fuck yeah!  Now to the rape cave!

Fuck yeah! Now to the rape cave!

My belief is that there was enough shitty feedback on that survey that she ended up getting canned.  However, as things go around here, there is a high possibility that none of that actually mattered and it was just a beef between our fearless leader and HR over HR’s struggle for power.  It is my hope that this is the last HR rant I am to write for a while.  It’s really a down right sad subject, but in the typical workingman’s life, it is an ever present force if there is one at said business.  The work related series will continue as desire to write about the bullshit rises, but for now, the troglocunt has bit the dust, and I am hanging up this phone.  Rojo, out.


One thought on “Work Related: HR Edition

  1. Pingback: Work Related and the End of a Hiatus | Rojobag

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