If you’re not familiar with PostSecret.com, I highly recommend it. I was turned onto it after being shown a few of the postsecret books a number of years back. I was fascinated as the telling of these secrets revealed both horrible and inspiring glimpses of humanity. After all, we are both amazing-terrible people, and everything in between. Frank Warren, the creator of PostSecret, posts new secrets to the blog each Sunday. They are submitted anonymously by his readers.
I religiously browse the secrets each week while getting paid at work. (A work rant is forthcoming.) Often times I am taken aback by things but not to the point where I have to provide some sort of uneducated discourse on the subject. However, one secret today and an email follow-up was able to arouse some feelings in me. Observe:
Interesting secret to say the least. In speaking with a female friend of mine, she mentioned that this is probably the most humiliating thing the submitter has to admit. We 1. Assumed that this was a female submission.
2. Due to the assumption in 1, deduced that this pleasure was derived from the instinctual desire of a woman to breed with a strong, dominant man.
That aside, here is the email that Frank posted as a comment to the secret:
I find this secret to be incredibly destructive. I know it’s therapeutic for the secret-teller to share, but I feel like it may be justification to someone who might rape someone that it would be something that the victim doesn’t know that they want. I know most of your readers are likely not rapists but since sexual abuse and assault happens to 1/6 women in America I feel like we need all the help we can get. Thanks!
1/6 women in America are sexually abused and or assaulted. Really? Oh, I get it:
Now, I am not condoning the act of forced sex, at all. In fact, it is one that sickens me to the core. I know two girls who were raped when they were younger and they have some major issues which I can only assume stems from the shame and trauma caused to them. However in one of the cases, the girl would go and party at a house, get black out drunk, pass out, and wake up with dirty condoms around her. Now, instead of ending it then, reporting it, or whatever, she would go back and do the SAME THING. That’s insanity.
It’s messages like the one above that perpetuate this accusation of “rape culture.” The secret isn’t damaging, as any person going “I’m going make some sex with this girl because, even though she don’t want, she’s going to have the best orgasm of her life.” is clearly already on their way to big things.
I bristle at the follow up email because although rape does exist and is an atrocious act, a number of rapes accusations are actually false accusations
. I have had my own experience with false rape accusations in my past as well. I shared my story at the, now defunct, University of Man, after Professor Mentu gave a run down of his encounter with a possible rape accusation.
I was a senior in high school and in my English class was this girl who I had “dated” when I was a sophomore or something. We never had sex, and only “dated’ for a month. She sat at my table and one day I said “we should have sex.” Literally, that is what I said. She agreed. A few weeks later we both had performed in a jazz concert and proceeded to go to a house whose care taking had been entrusted to a mutual friend for the weekend. There were only four of us, me, a buddy of mine, English girl (she was actually Filipino), and another girl. A string of tequila shots later, I’m laying on the floor on my back and English girl comes up and kisses me. We proceed upstairs for some drunken licentious fornication. We go through two condoms and pass out. English girl is awoken at 3 to get a ride home. I’m still passed out with a blue condom on.
Fast forward about 2 years. I’m getting a ride back from University by my good friend. He starts acting strange in the car and I call him out on it. He says to me “English girl says you raped her.” I told him we only screwed once, and that he knew of that incident because I told him about it afterwards. Apparently she had been telling people in the small town I grew up in that I had raped her. Cute. Now I lost some of my social circle, but it’s their loss, and her lie. I’ve seen her around and she won’t even look me in the eyes.
That was the second time I was accused of rape. The first time was right out of high school. I was working in a bakery doing prep work. The majority of the staff there were girls a year or two younger than me. One day, this girl, who I knew had a crush on me, came in and said, “Do you know Cuntie M?” I replied that I didn’t know but had seen her in our church groups because her sister Light was in them. She then drops this bomb on me, “Cuntie says you raped her but I don’t believe it because you’re too nice.” I guess that’s one time being (and I wasn’t very nice back then) a nice guy at work was good for me.
Now consider that neither of these, or even the poor party girl mentioned above, were reported to the authorities. The two against me were being used to slander my reputation, the reasons behind it, I cannot really fathom. I did have significant social proof as front man of an established punk band, and perhaps that had something to do with it. But one, was totally consensual, and the first one, I had never even met this chick nor seen her in any area around me for two years or so.
I think that instead of promoting the falsehood of a “rape culture,” these woman can never be held accountable for their acts, they are always the victim
feminists should take a look at the “false rape culture”
they are perpetuating.