Let’s dress up the Naked truth, nah fuck that, let’s just flat out lie.

If you’re not familiar with PostSecret.com, I highly recommend it.  I was turned onto it after being shown a few of the postsecret books a number of years back.  I was fascinated as the telling of these secrets revealed both horrible and inspiring glimpses of humanity.  After all, we are both amazing-terrible people, and everything in between.  Frank Warren, the creator of PostSecret, posts new secrets to the blog each Sunday.  They are submitted anonymously by his readers.

I religiously browse the secrets each week while getting paid at work. (A work rant is forthcoming.)  Often times I am taken aback by things but not to the point where I have to provide some sort of uneducated discourse on the subject.  However, one secret today and an email follow-up was able to arouse some feelings in me.  Observe:

From PostSecret.com

Interesting secret to say the least.  In speaking with a female friend of mine, she mentioned that this is probably the most humiliating thing the submitter has to admit.  We 1. Assumed that this was a female submission.

2.  Due to the assumption in 1, deduced that this pleasure was derived from the instinctual desire of a woman to breed with a strong, dominant man.

That aside, here is the email that Frank posted as a comment to the secret:

I find this secret to be incredibly destructive. I know it’s therapeutic for the secret-teller to share, but I feel like it may be justification to someone who might rape someone that it would be something that the victim doesn’t know that they want. I know most of your readers are likely not rapists but since sexual abuse and assault happens to 1/6 women in America I feel like we need all the help we can get. Thanks!

1/6 women in America are sexually abused and or assaulted.  Really? Oh, I get it:

Now, I am not condoning the act of forced sex, at all.  In fact, it is one that sickens me to the core.  I know two girls who were raped when they were younger and they have some major issues which I can only assume stems from the shame and trauma caused to them.  However in one of the cases, the girl would go and party at a house, get black out drunk, pass out, and wake up with dirty condoms around her.  Now, instead of ending it then, reporting it, or whatever, she would go back and do the SAME THING.  That’s insanity.

It’s messages like the one above that perpetuate this accusation of “rape culture.”  The secret isn’t damaging, as any person going “I’m going make some sex with this girl because, even though she don’t want, she’s going to have the best orgasm of her life.” is clearly already on their way to big things.

I bristle at the follow up email because although rape does exist and is an atrocious act, a number of rapes accusations are actually false accusations.  I have had my own experience with false rape accusations in my past as well.  I shared my story at the, now defunct, University of Man, after Professor Mentu gave a run down of his encounter with a possible rape accusation.

I was a senior in high school and in my English class was this girl who I had “dated” when I was a sophomore or something.  We never had sex, and only “dated’ for a month.  She sat at my table and one day I said “we should have sex.”  Literally, that is what I said.  She agreed.  A few weeks later we both had performed in a jazz concert and proceeded to go to a house whose care taking had been entrusted to a mutual friend for the weekend.  There were only four of us, me, a buddy of mine, English girl (she was actually Filipino), and another girl.  A string of tequila shots later, I’m laying on the floor on my back and English girl comes up and kisses me.  We proceed upstairs for some drunken licentious fornication.  We go through two condoms and pass out.  English girl is awoken at 3 to get a ride home.  I’m still passed out with a blue condom on.

Fast forward about 2 years.  I’m getting a ride back from University by my good friend.  He starts acting strange in the car and I call him out on it.  He says to me “English girl says you raped her.”  I told him we only screwed once, and that he knew of that incident because I told him about it afterwards.  Apparently she had been telling people in the small town I grew up in that I had raped her.  Cute.  Now I lost some of my social circle, but it’s their loss, and her lie.  I’ve seen her around and she won’t even look me in the eyes.

That was the second time I was accused of rape.  The first time was right out of high school.  I was working in a bakery doing prep work.  The majority of the staff there were girls a year or two younger than me.  One day, this girl, who I knew had a crush on me, came in and said, “Do you know Cuntie M?”  I replied that I didn’t know but had seen her in our church groups because her sister Light was in them.  She then drops this bomb on me, “Cuntie says you raped her but I don’t believe it because you’re too nice.”  I guess that’s one time being (and I wasn’t very nice back then) a nice guy at work was good for me.

Now consider that neither of these, or even the poor party girl mentioned above, were reported to the authorities.  The two against me were being used to slander my reputation, the reasons behind it, I cannot really fathom.  I did have significant social proof as front man of an established punk band, and perhaps that had something to do with it.  But one, was totally consensual, and the first one, I had never even met this chick nor seen her in any area around me for two years or so.

I think that instead of promoting the falsehood of a “rape culture,”  these woman can never be held accountable for their acts, they are always the victim feminists should take a look at the “false rape culture” they are perpetuating.


The Carousel and the Imminent Wall

I recently made a profile on this window shopping iphone app called “Let’s Date“.  My inspiration for this was testimony from my good friend the Reverend, who has had quite a bit of success with the app after the new years.  He lives in SoCal where the app is actually active.  There are not many users for my locale, however, I do get a kick out of browsing it.  It is truly window shopping at it’s finest.

The app authenticates off of Facebook and requires potential users to have a certain number of friends in order to deem them “real.”  It then takes information from your FB profile and populates your “card”.  There is the typical headline field, as well as your likes under the categories of movies, music, books, tv, etc.  The app also has you answer a series of optional questions that are multiple choice.   Age, height, body type, diet, politics, religion, drug use, cigarettes, booze, weed, sex, and kink factor are the main categories.   Some even include humorous answers such as under the booze category, one can choose “Don Draper Train Wreck.”  Under the category sex you can choose “I’m up for it, If you get me drunk, If we get along and there’s spark, If we get into a relationship, if we get married.”

In order to more accurately take your temperature with your thumb, a section where you can choose up to three of these quick memes for “My idea of a good time”, exists.   Of course they didn’t have my option of “Glassy Eyed howling at the moon” or “let’s tell my intensely religious neighbor that I was possessed by two demons and now it’s trying to take me over.”    The categories they have are the usual, go to a show, read, dinner, clubbing, hiking, movies, internet, and the all too cliche “when I got out, anything can happen.”   The latter is the most commonly seen idea of a good time, and I can guarantee that the majority of those claiming extreme spontaneity are not interesting.  But I digress…

The final generalization you can give to your window shopping potential dates is a series of categories that include hobbies, likes, and stereotypes.  Things like hipster, foodie, music snob, team edward, fist my sister, hedonist, and the list goes on and on.  I think mine says “Music snob, dog person, night owl, runner.”   But really all the app comes down to is browsing through and clicking a button that pretty much means, would bang, would not bang.  If one clicks would bang and the would bangee (Star Trek race?) clicks would bang on you, then you get a notification from the app that says “You should ask Shaniqua out.”  The app then goes on to suggest a time and place. You get the options “Ask out, decline, change.”  However it is only a suggestion.

I recall a recent message I got from a “would bangee” that first said “hi” then she followed up with “Dinner this week is a little soon for me.”  Now, I didn’t ask this chick out to dinner, nor would I in the first place, so I responded saying that its the app and that I didn’t ask.  She then responds with “Oh good, if you had I would have thought you’re a creeper.”  Dafuk?  Seriously, I am full on amazed this 7 has the nerve to call someone creepy for suggesting a date on a dating website.  The nerve of someone actually using a dating site to arrange dates.  I do have pity on the poor unsuspecting sap who asks this warbeast out before going through the niceties of text conversation.  I didn’t respond, however I do feel the urge to set her straight.  My efforts are better spent in other areas.  Plus the online thing, for me at least, is a cop out from talking to new girls in real life.

Yes, I haven’t addressed the title of this post, and you will find I am not going dive very far into that hole.  I just happened across this gem from a Let’s Date girl, middle thirties, pretty cute, but she likes dubstep and that alone is a deal breaker for me.  However, that is not what I want to illuminate here.  This chick is pretty aware of the wall that is approaching her soon to be barren fertility.

“Since we’ve gone through the 2012 portal, or whatever it means to you, it seems things have come full circle on a karmic level.  Is it just me?  Careless, selfish energy put out years ago is biting me on the neck.  It makes me want to embrace the humility and apologize profusely to the nice men I’ve wronged.  Soooooooooorrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!”

Is it just me? No sweetie, there are many like you who chose hedonistic behaviors over securing a good mate during your sexual peak.

Careless, selfish energy put out years ago is biting me on the neck.  Translation:  Being a selfish cock jumper in my past has now left me fighting my cat lady like tendencies in hopes of finally finding a nice guy.

It makes me want to embrace the humility and apologize profusely to the nice men I’ve wronged.  This is what’s truly sad about this girls situation.  No matter what she says, how she acts, or how much she vows she’s changed and feels bad, she will never garner unconditional love, respect and trust out of “the nice men” she’s wronged.  At least that’s how it wells up in me when I think back to Ms. Marriage and our two years of torture passion.  She cheated on me in the end, and then was upset I when I kicked her to the curb.  I remember a year later, she was going through some health things, and called me up.  I talked to her, got off the phone, and went about my business.  She was living with her current boyfriend.  She sends me a text saying “I was wondering if you’d be willing to see me again?”

My response?

“Are you asking if I’m still down to hit it?”

At that point, that is all they are worth, if that.  And honestly, for those broads that I ended up messed up over, I don’t give them the luxury of my presence any longer.  They lost rights to the Rojo’s Blue Room.

Rojo’s Road To Fitness

I have been slacking on posting.  Things got a little hectic over the holidays, one of my friends got married, and I took a nice week off of work to go to the snow.  I don’t do resolutions these days because I am on a constant track of self improvement.  In a not so recent post I was asked by Solo to give some detail on what I have been doing to cut weight and get in shape.  So hang on to your knickers everyone, here is a glimpse into my routine.

During this past summer, I recall looking at myself in the mirror and thinking to myself, “Damn, I am sure sick of being a fat fuck.”  I had put on about 60 pounds over the period of about 3 years.  I looked like an overweight mountain man.  I remember that day looking in the mirror like it was only yesterday.  I decided right then and there that I was going to change and it started NOW.  I had a friend who was doing good things with a combination of a paleo (and I hate that phrase) diet along with some cross fit training.  The first thing I did was cut out all processed foods and starchy carbs.  This meant, no potatoes, (which this Irishman definitely loves) no rice, no pasta (which the Italian in me also loves).  I then went a picked up Mark Sissons Primal Blueprint.  I took some of the suggestions in the book and put them to practical use.  I had recently purchased a fine pair of running shoes specifically for my foot type and running style.  I have a tendency to over pronate which in the past would give me terrible shin pain.

Armed with a new dietary regimen, which I will go into detail later, I started out with an exercise routine.  Now I have to mention that I do not like going to gyms at all.  Also the only affordable gym in my locale is unfortunately located right in the middle of downtown.  Instead of joining the gym, I researched some home / prison workout systems and started doing those.  I purchased a pull up bar and forced myself to do at least a pull up when ever I passed it.  It was a daunting task at first because I was 275 pounds.  I couldn’t lift that much of me to save my life.  So I would hoist myself up and hold myself as long as I could then slow let myself down.  I would repeat that about 20 times a day until  I could finally do a pull up.

On “body weight days” my routine looked like this:

I would repeat those exercises 3 times.

On non body weight days I would do sprints.  This consisted of about a mile of brisk walking warm up, until I started sweating.  Of course, I always had my dog in tow for this one, it’s his favorite thing to do.  I used my cell phone to time my sprint and rest periods, so it looked like this:  After warming up, as to avoid unnecessary injury and shin splints, I would run as fast as my tubby ass would take me, for a total of 30 seconds.  Then I would maintain a brisk walk for 2 minutes, whilst panting like I had run a marathon, and sweating like a pig in a fire pit.  I would repeat this 6 times, with another mile of walking for cool down.   This usually takes 45 minutes – 1 hour and covers around 3 miles.  The nifty thing about it is after doing this for a month or so, I was able to run a 5k and utilize my sprinting abilities.

That’s the fitness routine I stuck with.  My current routine is the same for body weight, except on sprint days, I work in 50+ push ups.  I usually do 25 before and 25 after.  As far as the number of days I do these, I sprint one day, body weight the next with one day off of body weight during the week.  This past week looked like this:

Sunday:  Sprint + Push ups

Monday:  Body Weight

Tuesday:  Sprints

Wednesday:  Body Weight

Thursday: Sprints

Friday:  Day off because I was playing a gig.

Saturday:  Sprints

Sunday:  Body weight before the Super Bowl

My sprints will begin again today, Monday.  I also recently purchased a weighted vest to get more out of my body weight sessions, and it has been kicking my ass.  However, I do love the feeling of being sore, even if I am walking funny.

Now that we have covered exercise, let’s move on to the new food regimen.

I Love To Eat

I really do.  In order to lose weight, and still enjoy eating I knew I wasn’t going to go full granola and just eat veggies.  I liked what the Primal Blueprint had to say, so I took the 80/20 advice and started eating only non processed foods.  I ate a ton of arugula salads, avocado, bacon, eggs, fish, chicken, leafy greens, and a ton of cruciferous veggies.   In a future post, I will outline some of my favorite recipes.

Basically I ate a high protein, veggie heavy diet 6 out of 7 days a week.  I also stopped drinking beer for the most part and simply stuck with spirits.  I cut all soda out of my routine, aside for the occasional Go-Girl.  (Don’t judge me, it tastes like carbonated pez and it’s made in West Sacramento, so essentially it’s like drinking Guiness in Dublin.)

This was my initial start and after about 2 weeks I started noticing changes.  However my biggest leap came when I started juicing.  Around August 15th, I went out and bought the Hamilton Beach Big Mouth Juicer and began juicing veggies.  I would make a juice each morning and drink it either before work, or at work.  Juicing was a game changer for me.  Weight started melting off, I found myself consistently in a good mood, I slept better and my stomach shrank.  My progress inspired several of my co-workers to start juicing and now they are juice fiends.  I was even able to get my folks into juicing and they gave me the Omega 8006 juicer for the holiday.  The omega juice tastes cleaner, is easier to clean, and comes with a 15 year warranty.  You can’t beat it, it’s amazing.  Also you can juice small berries in it and it gives higher yields for leafy greens.

The final change I made is I began supplementing with vitamin D and fish oil.

In addition to all of that I had stopped fapping.

What changed

In a period of about 4 months, I dropped 40 pounds.  I went from a size 42 waist to a size 36.  My shirt size dropped from XXL to L.  I nearly tripled my strength, as observed in the number of push ups and pull ups I can do now, compared to when I first started.  I’ve gained much more confidence, and I seem to have more mental clarity allowing me to express myself in conversation and my music in a much more coherent manner.  The transformation was visible to most around me, garnering me increased attention from females, questions by people who had seen this change, and an overall sense of well being.

What’s Next

My plan for the upcoming months is to tack a extra sprint onto my routine every 3-4 weeks.    Possibly 2-4 days a month I am going to do straight cardio running to see how far I can go.  My current best is a little over three miles and around 11 minute miles.  I am also going to meditate in the morning before starting my day.  I had played with this a bit earlier last year and really liked the results, however, I plateaued at 30 minutes and couldn’t get past that amount of time, even though I had my timer set for an hour.  I think it was an anxiety thing.

Hopefully that answers the question.  If any readers have questions, feel free to post them in the comments or send me an email at Rojobags at gmail dot com.

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